Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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