okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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