I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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