Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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