Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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