Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize