I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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