Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
