Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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