Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
