Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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