I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
