I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
