Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
