Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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