Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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