I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
