i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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