that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
