I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize