Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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