I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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