Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
