...so i touched it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
