tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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