I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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