is wine microwaveable?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
