hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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