People with herpes should wear stickers.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
