You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
