I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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