what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.