quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
