People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.