were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You pole danced in your parka.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment