She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
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I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.