Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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