I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
