Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
