I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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