windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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