are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
