MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
