My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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