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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did

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