I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
