sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
