Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
