One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
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Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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