I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
