I am puke
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
