I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
