Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
