You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
