Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
