dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
