I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study