I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
