sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year