Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

i cant believe jose lima did steroids

(281): View more from Texas

apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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(703): View more from Virginia

Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"

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(812): View more from Indiana

he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking

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(404): View more from Georgia

Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher

Fav 2 72 26
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