I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed