This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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