i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher