Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
