who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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