His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
