is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
