found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
