Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
