halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
