2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
