the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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