well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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