just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
