You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
